Still very much a Boy

I'm very, very, very, utterly, mostly disappointed with my hubby yesterday... another month wasted.... total up the months he has wasted = 12 months! This is not the first time it has happened and he never learns from his previous mistakes!!! :( still living in the "Denaiel and Blaming Land" I suppose.

I am running out of patient with him!!! I've tried every single thing to get myself into good physic and emotion still he is not mature into a man yet! I guess he is still waiting for his mother to make a child for him!!!! :( Mommy little boy! never seemed to grow up and become a man after all.

I'm soooo exhausted...... dealing with his childishness and the in-mature side of him makes me wanna slap him upside down! He never tried to be in my shoes and think of how I felt each time I visit my CMD. It was so f***king painful!!! I hate needles yet I did not give up hopes and put myself into the situation which I will most probably ran away... BUT I did it just for him and he still never tries to appreciate what I've done for him and still making all those nonsense excuses!!!! - He blamed first the baby calender, then the timing of my ovulation, then my voice, then taking bath at night, sneezing, flu, etc..... etc.....

Oh God, please H E L P me!

I don't know how long I can deal with all his disappointments. I tried to look beyond the good things we both share but this is just so very difficult for me to bear alone... I had never imagine it would be so devastating....... I realised that after all these while the guy that I married, which is my husband now, is still very much a BOY inside him and not yet grown into a MAN. I'm starting get very worried about my future.... I do not think I want to maintain this kind of relationship unless there's a child in our family. He knows how much I wanted a child of our own and yet he is not making any effort on it. I really want to give up! I could not tolerate with his childiness anymore...!!!

Oh dear Lord, please help my hubby... please guide my husband guidance along the way and shade some light in his darkness. Please grow him into a mature thinking man and a husabnd and a father (someday). I really need him to be an adult. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

All his friends, who are same age as him already have a family of their own and there he is still telling me he do not know how to do it correctly or maturely~! I have ran out of line to say..... I never thought he would be so naive into thinking that we are making love just for the sake of having fun! FYI, making love is part of the fun not the whole fun of it!!!! We, the women, however have to suffer for 9 months just because of you having "FUN"... !!! How ridicolous & naive his thinking!!! If all wanted to have fun then why married??? You could just have your "FUN" and stay single rite? clumsy!!!

I really duno why he was born with such a naive mind/brain..... even his brother & sister is smarter/mature than he is. Useless fellow..... making love suppose to be the easiest task among all and he has made it like it was a f***ing hard-JOB (like those farmer)! I really feel like giving him a slap! sigh...!

He always complain that I have very low sex drive (so I tried my best to exert more juice) but just take a good look at him.... who is the one had the lowest sex drive??? What Hercules! It's all rubbish!!!!