How do I teach my baby to soothe himself to sleep?

Everything I read tells me to put my baby down while he's still awake so that he can learn how to soothe himself to sleep. Sounds good, but how do I actually do this?

Expert Answers

Deborah Lin-Dyken, pediatric sleep disorders expert

You can't really teach your baby how to self-soothe, but you can provide him with the opportunity to teach himself. Given the right circumstances and the right stage of development, usually between 3 and 6 months of age, it will happen on its own. It's like learning to crawl: If you always carry your baby, he'll never have a chance to discover crawling, since he'll never be on the floor long enough to figure it out. It's the same thing with self-soothing: If you always nurse or rock your baby to sleep, he'll never have a chance to learn how to soothe himself to sleep.

How can you help your baby do this? First, you need to set the stage, which includes two things: a regular bedtime and a consistent routine. A bedtime that occurs at the same time every night will set your baby's internal clock so that he's naturally sleepy at a predictable time. The bedtime routine should happen in the place you want your baby to sleep and include three or four soothing activities, such as taking a bath, reading a story and having a cuddle, that let him know it's time for "night-night." When the bedtime routine is finished, put your baby to bed drowsy but awake.

Many babies will surprise you and drift off to sleep without much protest. Other babies, especially older ones who may have come to depend on being nursed or rocked to sleep, will need a bit of practice. Remember, self-soothing is just like crawling — it takes time and opportunity. You can teach your baby all at once and wait outside your baby's room, checking on him as frequently or infrequently as you wish. Or you can make it a more gradual process, sitting next to your baby's crib and easing yourself farther away each night — sitting in the middle of the room, sitting in the doorway and so on.

If your baby is used to breast- or bottle-feeding as he goes to sleep in your arms, you'll have to break his need to suck to sleep. You can move your child's feeding to earlier in the bedtime routine or slowly reduce the number of ounces or number of minutes of this feeding. Or when you see your baby starting to drift off during a feeding, promptly end his meal and finish the rest of the bedtime routine before laying him down.

Although some people believe that you should never wake a sleeping baby, keep the big picture in mind. On any particular night, waking your baby after he's drifted off may seem crazy, especially when you're beat and have a million things to do before turning in yourself. But when you remember your long-term goal of helping your baby develop the ability to soothe himself to sleep, both at bedtime and when he naturally wakes up during the night, it's well worth doing.

What happens if you've given your baby plenty of chances to self-soothe and he just can't seem to do it? Take a step back and try to figure out why. Perhaps he's simply too young and doesn't yet have the developmental ability to self-soothe, just as a 3-month-old can spend hours on the living room floor yet still won't be able to crawl. In this case, wait a few days, weeks or even months before trying again.

Or maybe your baby is too tired — and thus too overwrought — to settle down by himself. In this case, try moving his bedtime a bit earlier so he isn't a complete wreck by lights-out. Finally, think about whether you're really giving your baby an opportunity to find ways to soothe himself, or are rushing in to comfort him at his first peep and depriving him of the chance to figure it out on his own.

Most important, keep your goal in mind: Developing the ability to soothe himself to sleep will enable your baby to snooze for longer stretches and put himself back to sleep when he naturally wakes up during the night, allowing him to get the rest he needs to grow and thrive. What's more, self-soothing is an important life skill that will serve your baby well not just at bedtime but also in other situations, such as when he's separated from you at daycare or even when you momentarily walk out of the room, when he gets frustrated trying to master all those other important skills such as — you guessed it — crawling, or when he's just feeling fussy.

Source:

http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-do-i-teach-my-baby-to-soothe-himself-to-sleep_1272921.bc

First 3 Years Last Forever

I found this website which provide a very essential info on baby's development which we never know. The best part of this article was they actually done research on that! :) How cool! Please read on. For more info. pls go to: http://brainwave.org.nz/about-2/the-first-three-years-last-forever/

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A baby’s brain is unique and precious. The way it develops will determine who he or she will become. Genes may establish a child’s potential, however it is the day-to-day experiences that will help the child to fulfill that potential.
At birth the baby’s brain is only 15% developed. Most of a baby’s brain development actually occurs after the birth – in the first three years of life. It is the child’s experiences during these years that enable the brain to grow. In particular it is relationally-rich experiences which provide children with the ‘brain-food’ they need to grow into happy, secure and well functioning adults. Poor experiences during this time can have lasting negative effects on a child’s brain…and who they become.

The Recent and Evolving Additions to the Scientific Knowledge of the Brain

What has been learnt about the brain and its development in recent years is vitally important. New ways of visualising how neurons are formed and located under genetic guidance prior to birth and of how the child’s personal experiences then take over to connect these cells so that the messages they carry can be delivered to specific sites in the brain, provide the basic parts of this revolution.

It has long been known through observation and from paediatricians and psychologists interested in child development that children raised with nurture and care have the potential to grow to be a creative, affectionate, and understanding adults. Also obvious is that trauma from babyhood onwards can deflect or deviate children’s development in ways which leave them open to damage to their physical, emotional, cognitive and social development. At the worst these children can become continuing victims or relentless violent offenders. We have learnt too that the most significant impact comes while the brain is beginning to form and the child is too young to communicate.

This first section of this knowledge came with new ways to view the brain to show its structure and how large parts work together. Computerised Tomography and Magnetic Resonance Imaging were first used. These techniques have since advanced to show more clearly delineated images. Current research by Neuroscientists and Neurobiologists centres on the atoms, the molecules and the ways chemicals and other components of these systems work. Exciting research is being carried out at the University of Otago looking at the synapses – the connections between brain cells –and how glutamate, a molecule that binds to receptors in the post synaptic area can regulate gene reception and through this control the memory of events. This and other research are now being used to design specific drugs to counteract or enhance the effects of systems of neurons and for producing programmes for healing that are designed to suit the individual child. Of the last the essentials are to make a comprehensive assessment of each child, observing his or her behaviours and looking at the social context of their lives as well as the nature, timing and likely effects of the harm.

New too is so much of what is now known to be effective therapy with this backed by scientific evidence. This involves removing or ameliorating the harm where possible and looking at what the child has missed in their early development. For many this includes the responses babies and infants need to develop – in touching, being given praise for what they do, and corrections for negative activities cited in ways that give the chance to learn without imposing more harm. This can be very long term and difficult, requiring constant reviews in a school aged child, but with a parent who wants to do this as well as the child’s teacher and other important adults in their lives, it can be done. Moving on from this and overlapping with it, means bringing to the child some of the necessary feelings they have missed building – their self esteem, the knowledge that they are trusted and loved being the imperative. In the absence of a protective adult at home or in the school, a mentor can be provided or the work given to an adult already close to the child – a neighbour or relative.

Other advances are coming with gene therapy. At presenting this is evolving in the adult world with things like altering the part of the gene that controls muscle growth and using this in athletes to enhance their chance of success. Its use in diseases that destroy or damage muscles like Huntington’s chorea or Parkinson’s disease in adults, or Cerebral Palsy and Muscular Dystrophy in children are obvious advances. In the adult brain the recent discovery of the earliest cells that change to produce all the cells required and using the same response, can fill the gap made by cells that are damaged or destroyed has been described by the team working with Dr Richard Faull, Professor of Anatomy at the Auckland Medical School. Learning how to accelerate this process is their current task. Imagine what this may be able to do for children affected by brain loss or damage through a host of different causes.

Another area focuses on the glial cells. These cells outnumber the neurons by nine to one and have traditionally been regarded as cells with a maintenance role for neurons, bringing nutrients, maintaining a healthy balance of ions in the brain and warding off pathogens. In the past several years, sensitive imaging and listening instruments have shown that glia communicate with neurons and with one another about messages travelling among neurons. Glia can also alter these signals at the synaptic gaps between neurons and can even influence where synapses are formed. Given these powers, glia may be critical to learning and forming memories as well as repairing nerve damage. Experiments are now underway to find out.

Above all we need to remember that the brain is the most important organ we possess. It controls our body and our mind, and ultimately determines who we are. The challenge of this knowledge focuses on protecting the brains of all our children, especially in the early years, by ensuring the responses they require are available to them. In doing this we will alter the current downward trend of our communities and our country by raising successful children and countering the current enormous growth of harm to these sensitive and vulnerable young people with all the long term effects this carries.

Written by Dr. Robin Fancourt July 2004