Merry Belated Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

How's your X'mas? Hope y'all have a great X'mas with your loved ones.

I'm truly blessed I know! =) This year was the first time I spent my X'mas with my lil' man (and I'm looking forward to spending more X'mas day with him). (^_^) Although we didn't have snow here (what a shame), but we did had an enjoyable time together during this special day.

As usual, daddy always didn't prepare any pressies for mommy... And as usual being the lazy old him, which he never intended to change for good, he will bring mommy to a shopping mall and asked her to choose the pressie all by herself.

So without further ado, mommy will choose whatever she wants as her X'mas pressie! ;-) And of course mommy knows what she wants and it's within budget!! :D It was actually a last year X'mas wish but until this year only mommy got it! Anyway, mommy still feel grateful to dear Lord and daddy.

As for baby J, this was his first X'mas (!!) and he got his first x'mas pressies which was the Vtech baby walker! It's great for him as he is still learning how to walk. Hopefully he will learn to walk very soon. Mommy can't wait to see him make his first move! :)

And finally, daddy also got his pressie. And his pressie is the most expensive one this time! It's an ipad! He loves it and carry it everywhere he goes.... even to his bed! Ha!

All in all, we spent time together as a family. Not to mentioned also, this is our first X'mas as family for just the three of us. Thank you dear Jesus for the greatest gift of all, that's baby J. At last, we had our own little family. Although it was not a huge family but I like it for just the three of us for the moment... it's warm and cozy. And I hope in years to come we will continue to spend X'mas together as a family.

Even Babies Can Be Confident

What can you do when your child is an infant to help him develop the confidence to "try, try again"? 

Create a predictable routine. When your baby knows that after having his bath he'll be fed and then go to bed, he doesn't have to worry about what's going to happen next. Instead, his mind is free to focus on mastering new skills, such as how to get his belly up off the floor so he can crawl.

 

Respond to baby's needs. Of course you're already doing this. Every time you pick him up when he's crying or kiss a boo-boo, you're not just soothing him so he'll be less upset. You're showing that you're listening, and that you understand what he needs, which makes him feel important.

Present small challenges. The rush that accompanies "I did it!" is a powerful tool when it comes to building self-confidence. A 5-month-old who tries to grab at the toys dangling from his play gym is going to feel a burst of excitement when he finally does it. 

The next time you put him down on the play gym, position him so that grabbing the toy is not as easy as it was before but is still doable. Your baby might be frustrated at first, but he'll be all smiles once he learns to overcome this challenge. "This is how you build confidence," says Borba. "You are guiding him so he feels he is getting better and better at something."

Encourage persistence. When a child can't quite get the right piece into the shape sorter or he topples over as he's trying to stand up, say, "You've almost got it. Let's try again. You can do it!" This lets him know he's safe, and it gives him the confidence that he needs to pull himself up again. Add a hug, and your child will feel worthy of acceptance even though he didn't succeed this time.

Baby's Temper Tantrums

My 10-month-old has a terrible temper. If you try to take something from her or stop her from doing something that might hurt her, she screams until she's red in the face. But when you give in, she's fine. Is there anything I can do to change this? 

Expert Answers

Sandy Bailey, certified family life educator 

Hold her, tell her she'll be okay, and distract her with another activity or object. She'll quickly forget about her complaints.

Babies have an amazing — and often aggravating — ability to make demands. But your baby needs to know that you care about her feelings, even when she expresses them by screaming or flailing her fists. It may look like she's throwing a fit, but she's really seeking reassurance.

As long as you stick with your original decision — for instance, that she can't play with the remote control — no one can accuse you of "giving in." You're just giving her what she needs.

One of the best approaches to tantrums is to avoid them as much as possible. Pay attention to your baby's cues and try to anticipate her desires. You can reduce her frustration even more by giving her a safe place to explore where you won't constantly have to tell her no.

Screaming comes naturally to babies, and you can't force her to keep her temper. Spanking, swatting, and yelling are especially unhelpful. Your baby will only become more unhappy and distressed. If you're feeling angry, it's okay to put her in a safe place, like a play yard, and let her scream and cry until you have a chance to calm down. She can't have everything she wants, but she has to be able to count on you for comfort.

Why is my baby suddenly waking in the night?

Babies' sleep patterns can be affected by many things, including illness, holidays, changes in routine, and development. Many babies who were great sleepers as babies start waking again during the night between six and 10 months of age. Doctors aren't exactly sure why this happens but believe there may be some physiological or developmental reason.

If your baby suddenly starts waking during the night, step back and evaluate the situation. First, is it something environmental? Have the neighbours started leaving on an outdoor light that is shining into your child's bedroom? If so, try to fix the situation, such as putting up a room-darkening shade.

Second, are the sudden nighttime wakings following a period of illness or a holiday? Or do they coincide with a developmental change? If your baby has learned a new motor skill, for instance, learning to crawl, he may want to try it out every chance he gets -- even in the middle of the night. Some babies get caught up in pulling themselves to standing but then can't get themselves back down without help.

The best way to deal with these sudden nighttime wakings is to stick with what worked before. That is, don't suddenly change your bedtime routine or how you get your baby to sleep. Remain consistent in what you do for several weeks. This will help your child return to sleeping through the night once the temporary issue is resolved.
Reviewed by Jennifer Hor, antenatal and Parent Craft educator specialising in breastfeeding and well-baby issues

Trying for Number Two

Among American women, the average interval between first and second births is about two and a half years, which may sound like a decade to you if you're ready to go again now! But really, it is best to give your body a year, at least, to recover from pregnancy before you start over again —  eighteen months, even better. But that's just the ideal. Of course, lots of women don't wait that long, and that's fine. (Look at Heidi Klum!) So why wait? For one thing, it takes a while for your body to recover from the vitamin depletion, blood loss, and wear and tear on the reproductive system from your first birth. And, whether you realize it or not, your body — and your spirit — are under a good deal of stress from caring for baby number one. 

The reality is that many factors come into play when it comes to spacing your children. But regardless of timing, the best way to increase your odds of having a healthy baby is to stay fit and healthy yourself. So if you do decide to jump right back in the pool, make sure you take extra good care of Mommy. You should try to shed most, if not all, of your first pregnancy weight but not by strenuous dieting. (That could deplete your nutritional stores, which are already depleted by pregnancy, especially if you're breastfeeding, but even if you're not.) Keep taking your prenatal vitamins if you're planning to go another round soon, check in with your practitioner, and eat as well as you possibly can. Most of all, listen to your body. Hope that helps! And good luck with your project, whenever you decide to get started with it!

How to Relieve an Aching Arm from Picking Up Baby

Got mom's elbow? Try these tips for softening the baby strain.

Once you gave birth, the various discomforts of pregnancy ceased — but now they've been replaced by other aches and pains, including soreness in your shoulders, arms, and wrists. The biggest culprit, of course, is toting around your tot (plus a packed diaper bag, car seat, and other baby paraphernalia). Sure, back pain is the obvious ache that comes with the new-mommy territory, but who ever heard of mom's elbow???

Many new moms note pain in the inner part of their wrist (thumb side), which gets worse when picking up a baby under her arms. It's not carpal tunnel (which you may have experienced during pregnancy), but a condition called DeQuervain's tenosynovitis (a fancy name for an inflamed thumb tendon). It's caused by the excessive use of the wrist (such as when picking up the baby, because the wrist and thumb are shouldering most of her weight).

Fluid retention also contributes to the inflammation. If you're suffering, try resting your wrists as much as possible. If you must pick your baby up under her arms, keep your wrists perfectly straight (don't let them dip down). Better yet, experiment with other ways to lift her (or get her dad to do the job when he's available). Your doctor might also fit you with a wrist splint, and, if the condition persists, he or she may recommend a cortisone injection (not to worry — it's safe for breastfeeding) or, for last-ditch relief, surgery. For everyday aches, tame the pain — or prevent it — with these strategies:

• Work out with weights to strengthen your arms and shoulders.
• Use arm rests or pillows when nursing.
• Switch arms often when carrying the baby and her stuff.
• Use a baby carrier or sling to transfer your baby's weight from your arms to your back.
• Soothe sore muscles with a heating pad.

Seven Herbs for Indigestion

By Melissa Breyer / http://green.yahoo.com/blog/care2

Common causes for indigestion include overeating, eating too quickly, fatty or greasy foods, too much caffeine, too much alcohol, too much chocolate, nervousness, and emotional trauma. Translation: The holidays.

Indigestion, also known as dyspepsia, is a term used to describe one or more symptoms including a feeling of fullness during a meal, uncomfortable fullness after a meal, and burning or pain in the upper abdomen; it may cause bloating, belching, and nausea. One thing is certain, it's no fun!

If that last wafer-thin mint has you cowering on the couch, you may want to try one of these natural aids for indigestion. Herbs have been used for millennia to treat any matter of ailments, and indigestion seems to be one woe that is well-suited for natural remedies.

Fennel / Fennel Seed
There is a reason Indian restaurants serve the fennel seed mix, Mukhwas, after dinner. Fennel seed has long been used to help fight gas, cramps, and acid indigestion, and to help ease spasms in the intestinal tract.

Fennel has a long history of use in both food and medicine. Traditionally, it is said to act as a carminative, which means that it helps the body expel gas and sooth indigestion. Fennel is also a common ingredient in "gripe water," a traditional (and very alcoholic, by the way) preparation used for treating infant colic.

Fennel leaves can be used to make tea. NYU Langone Medical Center says that a typical dose of fennel is 1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons of seeds per day.

Lemon Balm
Lemon balm is a member of the mint family and has been a favorite since the Middle Ages for reducing stress and anxiety, abetting sleep, sparking appetite, and easing indigestion.

These days, lemon balm is commonly mixed with other calming herbs to help promote relaxation. Evidence suggests that lemon balm, in combination with other herbs, may help treat indigestion -- although just soothing the stress alone can sometimes help with dyspepsia.

To reduce indigestion, flatulence, or bloating, the University of Maryland Medical Center recommends:

Capsules: Take 300 - 500 mg dried lemon balm, 3 times daily or as needed.
Tea: 1.5 - 4.5 grams (1/4 - 1 teaspoonful) of dried lemon balm herb in hot water. Steep and drink up to 4 times daily.
Tincture: 2 - 3 mL (40 - 90 drops), 3 times daily

Turmeric
Turmeric is the little minx of the spice drawer -- super bright, spicy, and boasting a broad array of health claims. You may know it as the main spice in curry and the one which imparts that intense golden glow, but turmeric is also used for health remedies.

In traditional Chinese medicine and Ayurvedic medicine, turmeric has been used to aid digestion and liver function, relieve arthritis pain, and regulate menstruation. It has also traditionally been used for heartburn, stomach pain, diarrhea, intestinal gas, and stomach bloating.

According to the NYU Langone Medical Center, turmeric's superpower comes in the form of the substance, curcumin, that, among other properties, may stimulate gallbladder contractions. One double-blind, placebo-controlled study showed that 87% percent of the curcumin group experienced full or partial symptom relief from dyspepsia as compared to 53% of the placebo group.

The National Institutes of Health recommends a dosage of 500 mg of turmeric four times daily for dyspepsia.

Ginger
Ginger has long been used as a medicine in Asian, Indian, and Arabic herbal traditions. In China, ginger has been used to aid all types of digestion disorders for more than 2,000 years. Fast-forward to modern medicine, and health care professionals still commonly recommend ginger to help prevent or treat nausea and vomiting. It is also used as a digestive aid for mild stomach upset.

Germany's Commission E has approved ginger as a treatment for indigestion and motion sickness. Curiously, while most anti-nausea drugs work on the brain and the inner ear, ginger seems to act directly on the stomach.

For most purposes, the standard dosage of powdered ginger is 1 to 4 g daily, divided into 2 to 4 doses per day. (To prevent motion sickness, you should aim to begin treatment 1 or 2 days before the trip and continue it throughout the period of travel.)

Artichoke Leaf
If you have ever wondered what in the world were those Italians thinking when they invented the artichoke aperitif liqueur, Cynar, here's you answer. In traditional European medicine, the leaves of the artichoke plant (not the leaves of the bud, which is the part that we eat) were used as a diuretic to stimulate the kidneys and as well as the flow of bile from the liver and gallbladder; which plays a starring role in digestion.

Over the past century, much research has been done looking into the traditional medicinal uses of the artichoke plant; conclusions suggest that the plant does indeed stimulate the kidney and gallbladder. In the mid-20th century, Italian scientists isolated a compound from artichoke leaf called cynarin, which appeared to duplicate many of the effects of whole artichoke. Salute!

In 2003, a large study evaluated artichoke leaf as a treatment for dyspepsia; artichoke leaf extract proved significantly more effective than placebo for alleviating symptoms of functional dyspepsia. Germany's Commission E has authorized the use of artichoke leaf use for "dyspeptic problems" -- they recommend 6 grams of the dried herb or its equivalent per day, usually divided into 3 doses. Artichoke leaf extracts should be taken according to label instructions.

Peppermint
Peppermint is often used to soothe an upset stomach or to aid in digestion. Because of its subtle numbing effect, it has been used to treat everything from headaches, skin irritations, and anxiety to nausea, diarrhea, menstrual cramps, and flatulence.

Peppermint oil seems to be helpful for a variety of conditions that involve spasm of the intestinal tract. Most studies have involved irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), for which peppermint oil has shown considerable promise.

Peppermint relaxes the muscles that struggle with digestive gas and improve the flow of bile, which the body uses to digest fats. In studies on using peppermint to treat IBS, there seems to be a trend indicating mild effectiveness in the reduction of some symptoms, especially flatulence and abdominal pain and distension. However, if your symptoms of indigestion are related to a condition called gastroesophageal reflux disease or GERD, peppermint should not be used.

Cayenne
OK, this one is confusing: Doesn't spicy food cause stomach aches? According to the folks at NYU, evidence suggests that oral use of cayenne can reduce the pain of dyspepsia! Counter-intuitive, at best, but apparently hot peppers don't actually inflame the tissues they contact; in fact, hot peppers aren't even harmful for ulcers. Rather, they merely produce sensations similar to those caused by actual damage.

Oral use of capsaicin seems to reduce discomfort in the stomach. In a double-blind study, individuals with dyspepsia were given either 2.5 g daily of red pepper powder (divided up and taken prior to meals) or placebo for 5 weeks. By the third week of treatment, individuals taking red pepper were experiencing significant improvements in pain, bloating, and nausea as compared to placebo, and these relative improvements lasted through the end of the study.

For treatment of dyspepsia, cayenne may be taken at a dosage of 0.5 to 1.0 g three times daily (prior to meals).

For these and all herbs, do not exceed dosage recommendations, and be sure to consult with your doctor if you are pregnant, nursing, or taking any medication.

Planning Planning Planning

What I've been up to lately?? Well, I'm planning for my baby's first birthday party! :D They said first time is very special because it's the first time!! :D I've found a very useful info on what to expect when planning for your baby's first birthday. Hope you'll find it useful too. Info as below:

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Whether you're planning an intimate gathering of friends and family or an all-out bash, your baby's first birthday celebration is bound to be special — at least for you and the other adults and older kids in his life!

Yes, a first birthday party is really for parents and their guests. Your baby won't remember this party, and may even be overwhelmed by it. But that doesn't mean you can't all have fun. For party planning suggestions and tips on keeping your baby (and young visitors) comfortable, read on.

Who to invite

Your 1-year-old may be fearful of strangers, and strange or new places. Despite liking other babies, she won't understand how to play with them yet. She will enjoy individual attention and likes to make you laugh. These factors often convince parents to opt for an intimate, low-budget family party or small gathering of relatives, close friends, fellow parents, and neighbors.

But no matter how many guests you have, keep in mind that your 1-year-old will want a lot of your undiluted attention. This is especially true if she's feeling overstimulated by a large crowd of well-wishers.

• Get answers to all your birthday party planning questions from parents in our Birthday Ideas community group.

Choosing a place

Home is usually the easiest place to host a first birthday party, and it's where your baby will feel most secure. But if your home is too small for the number of guests you want to invite, consider a local community center or church social hall, a kids' museum, a restaurant (you may want to go with a kids'-themed place or a fast-food restaurant with a play space), a relative's house, or, if the weather is nice, a park or zoo.

• See other parents' suggestions for excellent birthday party spots.

Choosing a theme

Party themes aren't important to your 1-year-old or her baby guests. You might want to aim for a color-coordinated look, or pick matching plates and napkins with a favorite cartoon character, but it's more for the benefit of the keepsake photos than your baby at this stage.

Food

Keep food simple — a lot of it will probably end up on the floor anyway!

Finger foods work well for both babies and adults, and eating them won't interrupt play or socializing. Some babies may have quite a few teeth and be able to bite into food; others may still be toothless, so cater to both extremes. Tiny sandwiches with cheese spread (you can cut them into shapes), cubes of mild cheese, cut-up fruit, pasta spirals, and mini yogurts are good options. You can also try animal crackers or graham crackers broken into small pieces.

Your small guests will probably eat very little, so aim for a variety of tastes, textures, and colors rather than quantity. (Get more finger food ideas here.) And avoid serving nuts, hard candies, popcorn, raisins, marshmallows, and other foods that may present a choking hazard to little ones.

As for beverages, it's a good idea to have water, milk, and diluted fruit juices around for the kids and mineral water and sodas for the adults.

Don't forget a wonderful birthday cake. Some parents like to have a small separate cake for the birthday baby — this way she can smash into it to her heart's content. (It also works to serve cupcakes to everyone, including your baby.) Homemade treats are special, but supermarkets have a great variety available, or try a bakery. You may need to order the cake or cakes in advance. And don't let your baby get too close to the candle as she'll want to grab it, not blow on it.

Wacky People, Wacky Ideas

If you follow this blog, you know how I love to see anything related to wedding (I love to see how detailed and how natural the whole settings are... this tells whether the couple have their own taste & style - it's all about fashion sense!).

Recently, I went to a friend's wedding receptions. As usual the first thing I will observe was their theme colour! Oh my... I must say that orange isn't a colour for everyone especially if they don't put it right with the flowers and the ballroom settings and etc. It will easily spoil the "feel" of the theme & makes the whole event looks like an Indian wedding but the actual fact was it is not an Indian wedding (a bit confuse now anyway....). I've seen orange colour wedding before and it was refreshing and soothing to the eyes, all were well match with the theme and the whole concept of the wedding. May be their wedding is around the month where Halloween is also celebrated, that's why they tried to bring that in to their wedding theme. *awful still*

Secondly, those flowers deco! Oh my!... please put it away somewhere (like in the storeroom maybe)... This is a modern wedding how come the flora arrangements were so ancient??? I feel like I just walked backwards... back to the past, like before the millennium.

Third thing I will observed is the groom. I must say, have you got not enough money to buy material that big enough to suit your size?? The groom looked like he has outgrown the suit he is wearing... and the tie (again)! It too small for his size and the colour... looks ugly on him (frankly). It looks childish.

Fourth, is the backdrop. Well I must say, nowadays compare to my time, there wasn't any suppliers around in the market which publish their work in the ads. The font is ok but the deco is a bit too much... it makes the backdrop over crowded and not elegant. Childish again I must say.

Moving on to the fifth item would be the bride! Yes, my fave. As always in a wedding, the bride will shine above the rest. I must say with the whole theme and decorations, the bride does not blend in to her wedding theme. She wants to look elegant but her theme is fun and childish??? So this was also a mistake... it doesn't blend in at all.

Sixth, the bride & groom showtime! This to me the MOST important part of the wedding! The is the gist of the fruit where people will go... "yeah, it's so romantic" or they will just take it as "it's another bollywood movie which seen on TV" (meaning they did put up a good act... though they are doing lots of rehearsal but still doesn't look natural in the end). *** shaking my head*** Well, I have to say it doesn't look natural at all especially when the groom & bride give their wedding vows, and the singing which the bride sit there on the stage and watch (???). Is this not a movie drama or what??? And the worst is the groom actually sang out of tune and the bride looks like she is enjoying (with a fake smiling face) his singing!??? So FAKE!

In fact, I couldn't emphasis enough, don't make it too perfect the wedding itinerary. It will turn out to be a Bollywood movie in the end! Have you seen bollywood movie to have any flaws? It would give a bad impression to the guests that they were just merely "acting" on the stage. Further more, no one would want to see that in a weeding and also people will feel irk deep down inside! :O

Seventh, the wedding photos. Well, I must say... they did put a lot of effort in going to Bali for their photo shoot but it turn out to be more like a religious photos than a wedding photos! You know those spooky & religious place in Indonesia... old and ancient. Not quite sure what happened at the place before... :S It doesn't looks like a romantic wedding photos at all! It was more like a holiday photos which was fun and crazy ones!

So I guess these were my top seven wedding no-no ideas!

Effects of Mom's Favoritism May Last Into Adulthood

Fri, Jul 2, 2010 (HealthDay News) -- Children of mothers who favor or reject one child are more likely to suffer depressive symptoms as middle-age adults, new research suggests.

Researchers interviewed 275 Boston-area mothers in their 60s and 70s who had at least two living adult children, and 671 of the women's children. The study authors say they are the first to show that harmful effects of a mother's favoritism or rejection persist well into adulthood.

The findings, published recently in the Journal of Marriage and Family, could lead to new therapies.

"We have a powerful norm in our society that parents should treat kids equally, so favoritism can be something of a taboo topic," study author Karl Pillemer, a Cornell University gerontologist, said in a university news release. "If counselors can help older parents and adult children bring some of these issues into the open, it may help prevent family conflict from arising."

"Perceived favoritism from one's mother still matters to a child's psychological well-being, even if they have been living for years outside the parental home and have started families of their own," study co-director Jill Suitor, a Purdue University sociologist, said in the news release. "It doesn't matter whether you are the chosen child or not, the perception of unequal treatment has damaging effects for all siblings."

Si Classico

Today, daddy finally bought "the" new stroller for baby J. After researching for weeks, mommy decided that Pre-Perego stroller is more suitable for baby J and daddy.

Furthermore, the sales person was kind enough to give daddy further discount (up to 40%) for the new stroller because it was a display unit but everything are still in good and new condition. So, after discussing and examining the product with mommy, daddy decided to buy it.

How to live a happy and satisfied Life

I found this article very meaningful and would like to share with you. Happy reading and discovering! :)

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In each day that passes by, we stand by and witness how our lives are being lived without the full happiness and satisfaction we crave and need. Most people spend their time stressed out, worried and on a constant panic about what needs to be done for their futures, raising their children, wired up over work, school, along with everything else. Does this sound familiar? Well if it does, it is because so many people live with this style and pattern. When you can start living that fully happy and satisfied life?

The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are.

Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it losing a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day.

Setting deadlines for these goals would be a great way to assure they will be accomplished. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic deadlines. For example, if you wanted to lose 10 pounds, do not give yourself a week to do so. You will only torture yourself and become depressed when the week is over and see that you did not come even close to losing the 10 pounds. In fact, you may give up losing weight altogether because of the failure you experienced, simply because your deadline was unrealistic. Take some time everyday to look over your goals and remind yourself of how important they really are to you. Ask yourself why they are important to you too. Knowing that something is important is not enough. You must know the reasons behind the importance of the dreams and goals you have, so that your mind can see it more clearly and understand exactly why it is so necessary to go through with your missions.

Excuses are demons you must learn to fight off if you wish to start living a happy and satisfied life. Most people claim to have many dreams, but say they just do not have the time to approach them. Stop making excuses! You are the only one who holds the power to make a real difference in your life. Sure, we all have busy lives with our careers and families, but nothing takes up 24 hours of your day. So if something is truly important to you, you will be sure to make the time to work on it. You can do this by replacing it with something less important. For example, if you claim you do not have the time to work on the other important goals in your life, perhaps it is time for you to start making close observations on the way you spend your time. If you spend several hours of the day working, studying, and then several hours taking care of house chores and family, what else are you doing with the rest of your day? If you spend a good portion watching television, then you need to cut back on that and use that time to begin and follow an exercise plan you have been thinking to focus on for a long time (or whatever goal it is you have).

Making yourself one of your first priorities is not selfish. It actually is obligatory to do so in order to succeed in the other subjects of your life. Without a happy and satisfied you, there will be no happy and satisfied life, because you will be stressed out and unhappy. You might be consciously ignoring your needs and desires, but your subconscious mind has not forgotten about you and will constantly remind you through stress, anger, sadness, insecurity and feelings of failure.

Start listening to yourself and becoming the best friend and supporter you need. No one is going to work on your happiness for you, so find the power and motivation stored up inside you, and use it to direct yourself into the path of true happiness and satisfaction. You can do anything you set your mind to, and once you have stopped and gotten in touch with yourself, you will learn and realize just how wonderful and capable you really are, and how you always have been. You will not only realize these things, but also begin loving who are more and more, which will not only lead you to achieving the things that make you most happy, but will guide you into a world of many new dreams come true.

Cry-It-Out : The Potential Danger

Among parents of infants these days, there is constant debate about how to respond to a baby’s cries. On one hand, there are proponents of the “cry it out” method, where the baby is left alone to cry in the hopes that he or she will eventually stop. On the other hand, there are the “attachment parents” who respond immediately to their crying babies and attempt to soothe them using various methods including holding and cuddling. While the cry-it-out method (CIO) has been popular in previous years, attachment parenting (AP) is gaining a foothold among new parents today. Results of studies in psychology indicate the AP approach to crying is most likely to result in an emotionally and physically healthy child.

Attachment theory originated in the late 1960s when psychologist John Bowlby postulated that a warm, intimate relationship between caregiver and infant is necessary for optimal health as well as for basic survival. As such, each individual is born well-equipped with reflexes and instincts for interacting with their primary caregiver, which is often times the mother. For example, infants quickly learn to recognize and prefer both their mother’s voice and smell. As babies develop some locomotor control they display their desire to be close to their caregivers by reaching toward their mother or father to be picked up or by crawling toward them. From an evolutionary perspective, these behaviours have survival value. Babies who lack such attachment behaviours will stray from their caregivers and are more likely to get lost, attacked, and perish. An infant’s cry is also intended to increase the likelihood of its survival, as a mother’s instinct is usually to go to her child at the first sign of distress.

We live in an age where we can know that the baby is safe in another room, despite the loudness of his cries. Does this mean we should leave babies to cry on their own? CIO proponents often advise that babies left to cry will eventually stop, and the duration of future crying bouts will decrease. What are the emotional consequences of crying for the infant when she is left unattended? Bowlby and colleagues initiated a series of studies where children between the ages of one and two who had good relationships with their mothers were separated from them and left to cry it out. Results showed a predictable sequence of behaviours: The first phase, labeled “protest”, consists of loud crying and extreme restlessness. The second phase, labeled “despair”, consists of monotonous crying, inactivity, and steady withdrawal. The third phase, labeled “detachment”, consists of a renewed interest in surroundings, albeit a remote, distant kind of interest. Thus, it appears that while leaving babies to cry it out can lead to the eventual dissipation of those cries, it also appears that this occurs due to the gradual development of apathy in the child. The child stops crying because she learns that she can no longer hope for the caregiver to provide comfort, not because her distress has been alleviated.

Do babies cry more when they are attended to? A 1986 study concluded just the opposite: the more a mother holds and carries her baby, the less the baby will cry and fuss. Cross-cultural studies also show that parents in non-Western societies are quicker than parents in Western societies to respond to their crying babies, and babies in non-Western societies cry for shorter spans of time. Caregivers in 78% of the world’s cultures respond quickly to an infant’s cries. For instance, Efe caregivers in Africa respond to a baby’s cries within ten seconds at least 85% of the time when the baby is between three and seven weeks, and 75% of the time when the baby is seventeen weeks. !Kung caregivers respond within ten seconds over 90% of the time during the baby’s first three months, and over 80% of the time at one year. In contrast, American and Dutch caregivers have been found to be deliberately unresponsive to an infant’s cries almost 50% of the time during the baby’s first three months. Infants in non-Western societies have been found to fuss just as frequently as those in Western societies, but due to the prompt response of caregivers in non-Western societies, the overall cumulative duration of crying is less than what occurs in Western societies.

According to attachment theory, many babies are born without the ability to self-regulate emotions. That is, they find the world to be confusing and disorganized, but do not have the coping abilities required to soothe themselves. Thus, during times of distress, they seek out their caregivers because the physical closeness of the caregiver helps to soothe the infant and to re-establish equilibrium. When the caregiver is consistently responsive and sensitive, the child gradually learns and believes that she is worthy of love, and that other people can be trusted to provide it. She learns that the caregiver is a secure base from which she can explore the world, and if she encounters adversity she can return to her base for support and comfort. This trust in the caregiver results in what is known as a secure individual.

Children who do not have consistently responsive and sensitive caregivers often develop into insecure individuals, characterized by anxious, avoidant, and/or ambivalent interactions. Long-term studies have shown that secure individuals, compared to insecure individuals, are more likely to be outgoing, popular, well-adjusted, compassionate, and altruistic. As adults, secure individuals tend to be comfortable depending on others, readily develop close attachments, and trust their partners. Insecure individuals, on the other hand, tend to be unsettled in their relationships, displaying anxiety (manifesting as possessiveness, jealousy, and clinginess) or avoidance (manifesting as mistrust and a reluctance to depend on others). North American parenting practices, including CIO, are often influenced by fears that children will grow up too dependent. However, an abundance of research shows that regular physical contact, reassurance, and prompt responses to distress in infancy and childhood results in secure and confident adults who are better able to form functional relationships.

It has been suggested in the past that CIO is healthy for infants’ physical development, particularly the lungs. A recent study looking at the immediate and long-term physiologic consequences of infant crying suggests otherwise. The following changes due to infant crying have been documented: increased heart rate and blood pressure, reduced oxygen level, elevated cerebral blood pressure, depleted energy reserves and oxygen, interrupted mother-infant interaction, brain injury, and cardiac dysfunction. The study’s researchers suggested that caregivers should answer infant cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively, recommendations which are in line with AP principles.

CIO supporters tend to view their infants’ cries as attempts to manipulate caregivers into providing more attention. Holding this view can be detrimental to the immediate and long-term health of the baby. In the field of cognitive psychology there exists the premise that our thoughts underlie our behaviour. Thus, if we think positively about an individual, our behaviours toward them tend to be positive as well. Conversely, if we think negatively about an individual, we will behave correspondingly. Consider people in your own life whom you consider manipulative – how does that perception influence your behaviour toward them? It is unlikely that the interpretation of a manipulative personality will result in the compassionate, empathetic, and loving care of that individual. Infants, quite helpless without the aid of their caregivers, may suffer both emotional and physical consequences of this type of attitude.

When faced with a crying baby, it may be prudent to ask yourself the following questions: Why am I choosing this response? Do I want my baby to stop crying because he feels comforted and safe, or do I want my baby to stop crying for the sake of stopping crying? What is my baby learning about me and the world when I respond in this manner? If I were a baby and was upset, how would I want my caregivers to respond?

http://www.vancouver.wsu.edu/fac/hewlett/infantcare.html

Flat Head Syndrome in Babies

If you spend a great deal of time in the presence of babies, you have certainly noticed that it is becoming fairly common to see an infant with a flat spot on the back or side of the head. This phenomenon, known as positional plagiocephaly, or more commonly as flat head syndrome, is caused when babies spend a considerable amount of time with their head resting in the same position, such as when traveling in a car safety seat or stroller. 

Many modern travel systems allow parents to transfer their baby's car seat into the stroller base without removing the child, increasing the time that babies remain in the same position. Additionally, in an effort to reduce the instances of cot death, parents and caregivers regularly place babies to sleep flat on their backs. Although this technique definitively saves lives, it can contribute to flat head syndrome. 

Babies are born with soft, pliable skulls, so when they rest in the same position on a regular basis, their head can develop a flat spot where it presses against the car seat or mattress. Infants born prematurely or those with torticollis, a condition that causes a baby's head and neck to tilt to one side, are at increased risk, but all babies can be affected. 

In most cases, a baby's head will return to a more natural, rounded shape once the child begins crawling and standing, but some parents prefer to purchase a helmet to help reshape their baby's head. Most effective when a baby is between the ages of 4-12 months, these helmets are worn almost continuously for a number of months in order to help remold the baby's head. Their use is a bit controversial, however, since many doctors feel that they are unnecessary.

There are some recommendations to help babies retain a rounded shape to their heads while they are developing. Although it is vital to continue placing infants on their backs to sleep, it is safe to adopt a "tummy to play" habit during the baby's supervised waking hours. 

Another idea is to place the baby to sleep with his head at alternating sides of his cot, encouraging him to tilt his head in various directions to view the room. By finding ways for the baby to take the pressure off the flattened area, the head will grow in a uniform manner. As babies continue to grow and develop, their increased mobility and physical capabilities will ensure that their heads do not regress to the earlier flattened shape.

Flat head syndrome is a purely cosmetic issue; it in no way impacts the child's brain or intellectual development. Nonetheless, parents worldwide are expressing their concern and seeking the advice of specialists. Craniofacial physicians have noticed a dramatic increase in inquiries from worried parents over the past few years. While most cases of flat head syndrome correct themselves, if you are concerned, be sure to consult with your child's pediatrician.

Heard of A Push Present

So there is really such things as a "push present".

In case you don't know, a push present (also known as a "push gift" or "baby bauble") is a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child. The present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has grown in the United States in recent years {I first heard about the trend when celebrity moms starting getting "push presents" that cost more than the island of Bali, I'm sure}.

Apparently the tradition of gift-giving to commemorate a birth has long roots in England and India. The term "push present" first appeared in a publication in 1992. In 2005, Southeast-United States jewelry chain Mayors marketed diamond earrings with the line "She delivered your first born, now give her twins." Fortunoff, a jewelry and gift chain store, established a push present registry in 2007. A registry??? You've got to be kidding. Why I never receive such gift from my hubby???????

But we can't really put fault on the jewelry industry for promoting "push presents" as a way to sell more goods because ultimately the peer pressure comes from mothers. According to BabyCenter.com, "It’s more and more an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body, etc.

But I, did not pressure nor expect my hubby into giving me anything on the above. I would rather let him know how much I've scarified for him and the family. If he understood that, it would be the greatest gift that I would ever receive from him.

I heard the saying once "The best thing that a father can ever do for its child is to love its mother". To me, this is the best push present ever. Don't you agree? But the act of love has to be shown to the mother not just SAY!! It has to be presented to the mother so that she understood that her efforts and sacrifices are noted and appreciated by the father.

8 Months Old Dy

Your baby's new found mobility means that he's now entering the land of bumps and falls. These are an inevitable part of childhood, and although your heart may occasionally skip a beat or two, try to enjoy watching your baby explore his surroundings and discover his limits. >>Yeah baby J has been on the go lately, and he is busy exploring the world around him. But he has been neglecting his safety thou... not taking safety precaution when mommy has been warning him not to go over the danger zone but being an explorer baby J couldn't resist to know what's beyond there... >.<>

Restraining your innate desire to protect your baby allows him to grow and learn for himself. However, do make every effort to make your home baby-safe. A good way to do this is to get down to his level to find the possible danger zones. Secure fragile objects so they won't topple, for example, and keep rickety furniture in rooms that are off-limits. >>Mommy will be more careful and will take extra precaution in making sure baby J is in safe environment next time... >.<

Couple Time >>Not in our household... :( his family never value this that's why he has been brought up that way.... no hope for him...!

Many new parents report that after the novelty of life with a baby wears off, they find they've drifted away from their partner and lost the closeness they once felt. Having a baby is a seismic event in a couple's life together. Because the brunt of the day-to-day adjustment often falls more on one partner, it's all too easy to start feeling estranged. >>That's so true!! Daddy has not been playing his role properly all these while. He leaves all the responsibility as daddy to mommy alone! >_<>

Acknowledging these feelings — first to yourself and then to your partner — is the first step toward doing something about it. Let your partner know that you miss him or her. If you're feeling this way, odds are good that your mate is, too, and will be relieved that you're bringing it up. Make a specific plan to spend more time together. >>Useless... mommy has been trying to do that since FEB but to no avail... daddy simply is just plain lazy and ignorant!!! And daddy said he should not spend more time with us... but his hp and laptop! What a low and selfish upbringing!!! Mommy hope baby J will not grow up to be like his daddy!!!

Figure out what you miss most about being together and make reclaiming those experiences a priority. Schedule time to spend together, whether it's a weekly date night or another special ritual. Come up with a special code phrase that either of you can use when the talk is revolving too much around the baby or what you have to get done at home. Re-evaluate ways to divvy up infant care and housework. >> Daddy not putting effort and his mind into this... he sis not value the meaning of a "family".... every time mommy asked him for help, he will sure find an excuse to run away with it or he will do it simply!!! Daddy said he will hv to go to work early so that he could come home early but he never kept his words! What a liar!!!

Not only will this reduce your workload, it will create more time for you and your partner to spend together doing something fun. You'll also see yourselves working as a team. >> It's just the matter of time for things to go from bad to worst since my partner does not value what you do for him and his family.... mommy pity baby J for having such an awful daddy...... :'(

3 questions about: Developmental delay

What is developmental delay?

Developmental delay is a slower-than-usual progression toward childhood milestones such as sitting up, crawling, walking, and talking. Apparent developmental delays may or may not indicate a permanent or long-term developmental disorder.

Most children, in fact, recover from delays. Preemies, for example, routinely fall behind on reaching milestones, achieving them on a timeline based not on actual birth date but on due date.

Every baby's pattern of development is unique, although babies tend to acquire skills in a sequential pattern. Some infants develop gross motor skills (like sitting up) earlier, while others are faster to acquire fine motor skills (such as picking up small objects).

Some are slow to move but quick to verbalize sounds. What's most important is that over time your child continues to develop increasingly complex mental and physical skills.

What could cause a delay?

Your baby may simply be focusing on (and practicing) particular skills at the temporary expense of others. However, language delays (which may not yet be obvious) should be closely followed. They could stem from lack of enough communication with adults or from a hearing problem.

Less common reasons for delays include disorders such as spina bifida and autism.

What should I do if I think my baby has a delay?

Learn about the normal timeline for language acquisition and physical development and the warning signs of a delay. Have someone evaluate your baby's development, hearing, and vision. (Your baby's doctor should be monitoring these things regularly.)

Write down any worrisome observations you've made and tell your baby's doctor about your concerns. You may also want to consult with a pediatric doctor who specializes in developmental issues or a speech pathologist. Trust your instincts.

Your baby may just need some extra time (serious delays are rare), but it doesn't hurt to be attentive to potential problems.


Source :
http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-8-month-old-week-1_1144.bc?responsys_count=0&scid=mbtw_post8m:902&pe=2UyCdrP

Bill Gates speech: 11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

My Wish List

I'm compiling some of the things that I wish I could buy or will buy soon for baby J (as baby began to grow so were the list of things to buy). It's hard when there's so much things that I (or we) needed with that little money we have...>_<' **meaning - the person who is suppose to bring back the dough is not working hard enough!** Ahem x2!!**


1. Peg-perego stroller (Si) Features:

• Travel System-compatible-Primo Viaggio SIP 30/30 (sold separately) attaches easily to the stroller with two included straps (also accepts some other manufacturers' car seats)
• Four wheels with 6.5" suspension and 12 ball bearings offer smooth, responsive handling and enhanced steering and maneuverability; front wheels swivel, rear wheels have "one-step" brakes. One of the smoothest strollers to push around.
• Closes quickly, with one-hand, in just two easy steps
• Slim "umbrella fold" design closes compactly with one hand and stands alone
• Includes a cup holder
• Adjustable handles, ample storage basket and large, multi-position "ratcheting" hood (with ventilated window and sun visor)
• Backrest adjusts to three positions; footrest adjusts to two positions
• Five-point safety harness protects child
• Lightweight-yet-strong lacquered aluminum frame
• Rear-mounted handle plus side carry handle
• Lightweight, practical stroller for everyday outing, also ideal for travel and quick trips
• Padded bumper bar for babies safety, can be removed for toddlers
• JPMA* safety certified
• Made in Italy

2. Maxi-Cosi baby car seat (Toby)
product information:

• Forward-facing car seat with seat belt tensioning system for a more secure fit
• Suitable from 9 months (9kg/20lbs) to approx 4 years (18kg/40lbs)
• Innovative harness system that folds out of the way
• Harness tensioning indicator for correct installation
• 5 reclining seat positions
• Adjustable, padded headrest that moves with the harness
• Awarded Mother and Baby Silver Award 2008/09 for Best Toddler Car Seat (Group 1)
• Dimensions (LxWxH): 56.5 to 64 (Upright to reclined) x 44 x 74 cm
• Weight: 8.9 kg

more info - http://www.baby-carseat.co.uk/tobi.php

3. Baby rubber play mat

4. Thermos food jar - bought it! Thermos brand is just simply marvelous!!

5. Slow cooker for baby

6. Ikea baby high chair

7. Queen size mattress

8. Baby's scrapbook album

9. Canon Powershot camera

10. Baby toy walker from Fisher Price


Wow! so much things to buy and this is not yet X'mas.... >_<'