By now your nights of getting up every two or three hours are behind you -- we hope. By three or four months, most babies are sleeping 15 hours a day, around 10 of those hours at night and the rest divided among three daytime naps (that number will drop to two when your baby is about six months old). You may still be getting up once or twice a night for feeds at the beginning of this stage, but by the time your baby is six months old, she'll be physically capable of sleeping through the night. Whether she actually will depends on whether she's learning sleep habits and patterns that will encourage this.
At this age, these are some of the best things you can do to help your child settle and sleep at night:
Establish set bedtimes and naptimes -- and stick to them
When your baby was a newborn, deciding when to put her down for the night was as easy as watching for her signs of sleepiness (eye-rubbing, ear-pulling, and so on). Now that she's a little older, you should establish a specific bedtime, as well as consistent naptimes, to regulate her sleep patterns. A good baby bedtime is usually between 7pm and 8.30pm; any later and she's likely to get overtired and have a hard time falling asleep. Your baby may not seem tired late at night -- on the contrary, she may appear very energetic, almost bouncing off the walls. But that's often a sign it's past her bedtime. You can set naptimes the same way you set bedtimes -- plan them for a specific time each day -- or go more by feel, putting your baby down when you know she's tired and needs to recharge. As long as she's getting enough sleep, either approach is fine.
Begin to develop a bedtime routine.
If you haven't already done so, now is also a good time to start a bedtime routine. Your routine can include any (or all) of the following: giving your baby a bath, playing a quiet game, getting your child ready for bed, reading a bedtime story or two, singing a lullaby and giving her a kiss goodnight. Whatever routine works for your family is fine, as long as you do it in the same order and at the same time every night. Children thrive on consistency, and this is no exception.
Wake your child in the morning to reset her daily clock
If your baby tends to sleep more than 10 hours at night, it's okay to wake her up in the morning to help her reset her daily clock. While it may seem like 10 hours at night isn't a problem, your baby needs to follow a regular sleep / wake pattern and recharge with naps during the day. Waking her at the same time every morning will help keep her sleep schedule predictable.
Potential pitfalls
Night waking and developing sleep associations which depend on your presence -- when your baby learns to depend on something like rocking or breastfeeding to fall asleep -- affect newborns and older babies alike. By four months, your child will probably be able to soothe herself, but you may still need to help her develop self-comforting techniques.
Some three- to six-month-olds may have a new problem: difficulty falling asleep. In these cases, putting your baby to bed can be daunting for new parents. You never know if she's going to scream her head off or whimper softly just to get the last word in.
If your baby is having a hard time getting to sleep at night, first make sure she's not staying up too late (as we mentioned, an overtired baby can make for a difficult bedtime). If that's not the case, she may have developed one or more problematic sleep associations. If you want her to sleep through the night without calling for you, she needs to learn to fall asleep by herself, not because she's been soothed to sleep by your arms, your breast or a pacifier.
If that's not the case and your baby is still having difficulty falling asleep, there are various strategies you can adopt. Some of these are outlined below. Of course, what will work best for you depends on your personal beliefs and sleep philosophy.
Approaches to sleep problems
What's the best way to respond to your child once you've tucked her in? Experts are quite divided on this issue. All agree, however, that the way to calm or ease your child to sleep changes over time. A newborn needs cuddling, while a toddler needs a consistent routine and a firm goodnight. When it comes to getting your three- to six-month-old baby to sleep, look through some of the suggestions below from a variety of experts and choose a strategy which you feel could work for you:Approach 1
Do a simple checking routine. If your child is crying, go back into her room. Pat her on the back and tell her that everything is okay, but that it is time to go to sleep. Don't pick her up or cuddle her; be gentle but firm. Leave. Wait about five minutes, then check again. Do this repeatedly until she falls asleep, extending the time between each visit.
Approach 2
Take a close look at your bedtime routine. It's important to put your baby down when she's awake so she'll learn to settle herself to sleep, both when you first put her down and if she wakes up during the night. If you're not doing this, consider changing your nighttime routine.
Approach 3
If your baby is crying and you're sure she's fed, dry, and healthy, wait five minutes before going to her. Then reassure her you're there by talking to her -- don't pick her up, turn on the lights, or touch her. When you go in, stay calm and keep it brief. If she keeps crying, wait a little longer each time before you go in, then repeat the above sequence. The key is to be consistent and firm.
Approach 4
Don't put your baby to sleep by rocking her in your arms or letting her suck at the breast or bottle; she'll learn to associate these things with settling to sleep rather than depending on herself. Instead, get her in bed while she's still awake, sit by her, give her a transitional object such as a blanket, pat her, and generally reassure her without words.
Approach 5
Comfort your baby to sleep: rock her, and lie down together until you see that her face is motionless and she's in deep sleep. Establish and stick with a bedtime routine, and try cuddling up, pretending to sleep, and firmly letting your child know it's bedtime.
There is no "right" way to encourage your child to settle and sleep through the night. You need to choose an approach that will work for you and your family.
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