Planning a Safe & Fun First Birthday Party

 

They said it's bad luck to plan something early and I thought this saying is just for wedding events... Never I imagine it could also happened when you are trying to plan for a birthday party.
 

Yes, lately I've been busy with my baby J's first birthday which is coming sooon! But nothing has been SOLID confirmed! >__<  The venue, cake, invitations, balloons... etc... etc. Due to the CNY celebrations near our boy's birthday, I decided to plan early for his event. Who knows.. the venue which I have booked months ahead are closing down in Jan 2011!!!  AND I only got to know this last week when I called in to place my deposit! @___@ 

Now I have to re-secure another location for the event! Headache!! With not many baby/children-friendly restaurants around I reckon this will be another hard task to accomplished! But I MUST have faith! God do this for a good reasons and I believe in Him. And I will find another new place to host the party... which till now I still haven't find... -__-'' 

Also, not to forget those suppliers.... they are an asshole I must say! They are not even customer friendly. I wonder how do they managed their business??? Such rubbish service! Enough said! It makes me wanna checkik them!!

Baby birthdays are a lot of fun — and you'll probably never throw a shorter party. Here are some tips to help make yours a success:

For safety:

• Limit the party area to one childproofed room.
• Remove all breakables and sharp objects.
• Avoid snacks such as popcorn and peanuts — even for adults. Babies can pick them up from the floor and choke on them.

For your guests:

• Make sure each child has a toy, party favor, and a chair. (You could ask guests bringing babies to their own high chairs.)
• Provide disposable bibs and baby wipes for quick cleanups.
• Take lots of pictures. Make doubles to send to the guests.

Party time:

• Set a time limit — an hour should be enough. Any longer and you may have exhausted babies (and parents).
• Lots of decorations, safe snacks, and music set the tone.
• Play short games, such as rolling/bouncing balls. Everyone gets a prize.
• Play music, sing songs, and dance.

CNY Shopping

Today, we went for our 3rd CNY shopping. Almost all shopping were decorated with CNY decoratives and theme... yes, the RED colour is a must in CNY and you can see almost every corner of the shopping mall were decorated with red stuffs! :D 

I can see all families are preparing for CNY as they are busy buying goods for their family. Especially those MOTHERS. :)  Bags after bags of new clothes for their children. I also got a new shirt (the 2nd piece) for baby J today!!! :D 

Well, the first ones I bought from this french shop. It's a baby suit in red but with stripe. Too bad it only left one piece & it's for 18 months. I have been going to the same shop but in other location to find the right size for my dear baby J but it all sold out!!??! Wow! looks like those mothers are really out there to buy whatever for their babies (I have to say apparel  in this shop is not cheap though). Looking at the shirt size and my dear baby's size we (hubby &I) reckon that it will fit baby J in no time. So we decided bought the last piece of 18 months size for him. Sounds desperate huh... hahahah....

And, the second piece of his new clothes that we just bought today are this traditional Chinese costume but with a modern twist! :)   You know why this piece is so special? Coz it's a baby suit! :) Both my hubby and I loved it when we saw it! Hope baby J will love it too.

We can't wait to see him put on his first traditional Chinese suit. ;-)

Tips For Raising Happy & Responsible Children

As a full-fledged "Baby Boomer", I grew up during a time where women were just liberating themselves, bra-less and all, and were overcoming relationship, educational, political and workplace boundaries. I believe my parents expected me to marry in my twenties, work in a low-key job, become a housewife and have children. My own aspirations were non-existent.

My husband would say I was "rudderless", there was no direction in my life. At the encouragement of my ex-husband I obtained a B.S. in computer science. That path lead to a 24-year stint at a high tech company and is where I met the true love of my life (that's another story) and resulted in three beautiful daughters.

With that quick background in mind and the frame of reference that stems from the "Women's Liberation Movement", I knew raising three daughters who would have a strong sense of self would be critical (if not for me, definitely for them).

My daughters are now ages 19, 16, and 13. I am starting to see the fruits of my labor come into focus. I am happy to report that in hindsight my following parenting picks are what helped form my daughters into responsible human beings and were essential in guiding me as their parent. Yet these can be forgotten or trampled over as our children compete on the soccer field as well as in the classroom:

1. Help them discover and grow their natural interests and talents.
My husband and I noticed specific talents in each daughter (which we fortuitously captured in these photos) as early as one and a half years of age. As soon as they came out the chute (aka cervical canal) they had distinct personalities and talents. My eldest, for example, always loved to draw. When she was two we were on a flight from San Francisco to Amsterdam and she drew and colored the entire plane ride (luckily she had diapers on). She is a lefty, by the way. Today she is pursing a degree in illustration. It was a natural progression and one she has chosen and is truly passionate about.

2. Encourage independent thinking:
At the dinner table my husband and I have always enjoyed discussing all sorts of things with the girls and hearing their opinions. We discuss the pros and cons on a topic so they can see two sides of the coin. We want them to choose their political and religious beliefs by giving them a strong foundation from which to make the best choices. We often have them read a few articles from the newspaper and have a long discussion about it and each shares their viewpoint.

3. Provide strong fiscal fundamentals:

Ever since my two youngest could talk they kept bugging me about wanting a dog. I gave them an option. Either earn the money for one or we would never own one. They thought about chores that could help raise the money, but the decisive moment was when my girls created a pet sitting business for our neighborhood which they have now managed for six years (established when then were 10 and 6 years of age). That may seem young but we always had adult (me) supervision until they were in their teens. It has resulted in a consistent source of income for them which has taught them money, time and business management, plus a ton of responsibility. It also resulted in not one but TWO dogs.

They paid for their pets, the medical bills and food. I stopped giving them allowance after the first year in business. They each have their own bank account and regularly watch it grow. They have goals for items they want to purchase and since it is truly their money they research the heck out of things before purchasing.

1. Establish good study habits: Ever since they were in public school, I established regular study and homework habits for them. They were allowed to play and relax for 30 minutes before doing their homework. No television or video games until all of their homework was complete. I used to help and check it when they were little, but in time they stopped asking me for help and would ask each other instead. They still help each other study for tests and rehearse oral presentations.
2. Create a love for traveling: Having young children did not stop us from getting on an airplane or car and traveling. My husband and I love to travel and we have instilled that love in our children. It creates incredible memories which we often recall during family reunions and holidays. We look at photos and videos of these memories and laugh until our bellies ache.
3. Create a sense of charity: We always want our children to have gratitude. That is perhaps one of our most important fundamentals we have for them. At the dinner table we would ask each child to describe three things they were grateful for that day. Oftentimes we heard the same thing over and over - "I'm thankful for a roof over my head, the food on my plate and my dogs", but in time their thinking became deeper and they realize how fortunate they are and understand the need to give to others who are less fortunate. We regularly donate to various causes we believe in. And it does not always have to be monetary in form. Each of them has given a couple of times to Locks of Love which is a truly personal charitable donation.
4. Let them make mistakes: As a parent you never want to see your child get hurt, whether it be a scraped knee or an embarrassing moment. But failure and mistakes are human and often teach more valuable lessons that result in making them more compassionate and worldly people.
5. Show by example: I have gone through many changes over the years. Most recently my children saw me make a huge decision to quit my long-time, high tech job and choose to discover what I was passionate about - photography and writing. They have seen me build a photography business and pursue writing my own blog and now I am branching out and writing for other publications like Yahoo Shine! When my children see this, they see they can be whatever they dream. They know they are to follow their passion in life and that their parents are here to help them find that passion and path. At least up to a certain point before they can fly and pursue it on their own.

I see the journey of my parenting reaching a juncture in the road. My girls are so self-sufficient that my parenting has lessened and our relationship is becoming something akin to peers. Not peers in age but in capability. Soon they will be teaching me more than vice-versa. If you're a parent, what are your best tips? If you're not yet a parent, what was the best thing your parent taught you?

How Much Milk Should Baby Be Drinking?

I was told to start feeding my 6-month-old son three meals a day. My concern with doing this is should I also still be giving him 32 oz. of formula/breast milk? Right now he eats dinner and four 8 oz. bottles a day.

Answer:

Many parents share your concern. By the time that you are juggling multiple feedings and formula or breast milk, an uneasy feeling often develops that something is getting lost in the mix. When mealtime comes, which do you feed first, formula or solids? Or should the formula be given between meals, and how much?

It all starts fairly simply; most healthy formula-fed newborns take 2 or 3 ounces of formula per feeding, and eat every 3 or 4 hours. By one month of age, most have increased on their own to about 4 ounces every 4 hours. By six months, the amount at each feeding has increased to 6 or 8 ounces, but the frequency has dropped to 4 or 5 times a day. By timing these larger feedings while you are awake, your baby often won’t need to eat in the middle of the night.

Another way to express this rule of thumb is that the average baby takes 2 or 3 ounces of formula each day for every pound of body weight, up to a maximum of 32 ounces. A newborn weighing 7 lbs. will take an average of 14-21 ounces of formula in a day. A 4-month-old weighing 14 pounds needs 28-32 ounces.

Nevertheless, these are general guidelines. In real life, this may vary quite a bit from day to day and from baby to baby. It’s best to remain flexible and to let your baby’s appetite guide the amount. You don’t need to coax him to finish a bottle, or stop him if he still acts hungry. If your baby consistently chooses to take more or less than the expected amount, discuss this with your pediatrician.

Moms who breastfeed are often worried because they can’t see or measure how much their babies are eating. Babies are born with a sophisticated mechanism that prompts them to nurse until they are full and to stop when their nutritional needs are satisfied. If a mother is not producing enough milk, a healthy baby will act hungry even after feeding and will not gain weight normally. The pediatrician should be called if there is concern.

When a baby is still hungry after 32 ounces or nursing 8-10 times, it may be time to start solids foods. Typically, this occurs sometime between 4 to 6 months of age. It’s usually best to start with solids once or twice a day, and to finish each meal with nursing or a bottle. Some babies prefer a little formula first to take the edge off their hunger. Babies can have as much of the solids as they want.

At this stage, most of the nutrition still comes from breast milk or formula. The solids provide wonderful experience with flavors, textures, and the mechanics of eating. As the amount of solids they take increases, most babies settle into a pattern of 3 meals of solids each day. The amount of formula tends to drop off a bit, but typically still falls in the range of 6 to 8 ounce bottles given 3 to 5 times a day. Most commonly, a smaller bottle (or half a bottle) is given with each meal and a larger one at bedtime. Some babies also enjoy a bottle first thing in the morning.

An older baby can have up to 32 ounces of formula per day. In addition, he can have as much in the way of solids or water he wants to supplement this. The mealtime formula is usually given at the end of the meals, to top off the solids in a comfortable and easy way.

Even though the solids are now playing a larger role, the breast milk or formula still provides the core of the nutritional needs. If a baby begins to regularly take less than about 20 ounces per day, you might want to offer the bottle first and then solids. 

Thirst is an extremely strong drive. As long as a baby’s own regulating mechanism isn’t tricked by getting too much juice or water, healthy babies will take enough formula or breast milk to meet their nutritional needs. This is one good reason not to put juice in the bottle.

Let your baby set the pace, but if he continues to consistently take more than 32 ounces or less than 20 ounces, run it by your pediatrician.

Within these broad guidelines, there is plenty of room for different preferences and schedules. Variety is part of life. Your baby and your own intuition are good guides through these exciting times.

Read more: 

 http://www.drgreene.com/qa/how-much-milk-should-baby-be-drinking#ixzz1BOq7sw5I

How Much Formula Milk Does My Baby Need?

Approved by the BabyCentre Medical Advisory Board
Last reviewed: November 2010 

It can be confusing trying to work out how much formula to give your baby every day. And there's no single answer. It depends on your baby's age, weight, and whether you're feeding him only formula, or giving it alongside breastmilk or solids.

We have a few pointers to help you work out how much formula to give your baby.

How will I know when my baby's hungry?

Your baby’s appetite will vary from day to day and month to month, so try to let him set the pace. Your baby will feed as often as he needs to, as long as you learn to spot his cues and respond to them.

When your baby’s hungry, he may start rooting, which means he will turn his head and open his mouth toward your breast. He may also make some sucking motions and bring his hands to his mouth. Offer your baby a feed when you spot these early signs of hunger.

Your baby may not need a bottle every time he cries. You'll soon recognise your baby’s special "I’m hungry!" cry. It'll be easier to feed your baby before he gets too upset and starts crying, so prepare a feed when he wakes up.

When you're feeding your baby, keep a watch for signs that he's had enough, such as slowing down or resting. These pauses give your baby time to feel whether or not he's full.

How much formula should I measure out?

If your baby isn't eating solids yet, there’s a rough guide that you can use to work out how much formula to give.

Your baby will want between 150ml and 200ml of formula per kilogram of his body weight per day (UNICEF 2010). Bear in mind that your baby may want less than this in the first week, before he settles down to a pattern of feeding (UNICEF 2010).

So, if your baby weighs 3kg, he'll need between 450ml and 600ml of formula over a 24-hour period to satisfy his hunger.

Remember that these measurements are only a rule of thumb. Just as your appetite varies with each meal, your baby isn't going to take exactly the same amount at each feed. So don't force your baby to finish a bottle, even if there is only a little bit left.

How will feeding change as my baby grows?

How much formula your baby needs depends not only on his weight, but also on his age. Here’s a rough month-by-month guide to help you work out how much to give your baby:

• During the first week, try giving your baby between 30ml and 60ml at each feed. He won’t be able to manage much more than this in one go.
• By the time your baby is one month old, he will probably want between 90ml and 120ml at each feed. He’ll consume anywhere from 400ml to 800ml in one day. You'll soon sense if your baby needs more, as he'll finish his feed quickly and then look around for second helpings!
• When your baby’s between two and six months, he may want between 120ml and 180ml at a feed. He'll have anything from 700ml to over a litre a day.
• Once your baby reaches six months, he may want between 180ml and 220ml at a feed. His total formula intake may be about 900ml a day.
• When you start giving your baby solids, his daily intake of formula milk is likely to gradually decrease to about 720ml (24oz).


• Once your baby is fully established on solids, he’ll need about 500ml to 600ml (16.7 oz- 20 oz) of formula every day alongside a varied diet (DH 2009a). If he doesn’t want this amount of milk, you can always give him milky foods such as custard, rice pudding and yoghurt.
• After your baby's one year old, he can move from drinking formula to full-fat cow's milk (DH 2009a).

Bear in mind that these are only rough guidelines, and your baby will let you know if he's getting too much or too little formula. If you’re not sure, talk to your health visitor.

When should I replace formula with solids?

When you introduce your baby to solids at about six months, he won’t be eating a wide enough variety of foods to give him all the nutrients needs. So it’s important to carry on giving your baby formula milk.

Formula will provide your baby with most of his nutrition until he’s fully established on solids. You can also give your baby vitamin drops from six months, particularly if he’s drinking less than 500ml of formula per day (DH 2009b, UNICEF 2010).

Continue to give your baby formula until he’s a year old, as well as drinks of water. You can give your baby a small amount of juice from six months if you wish, but make sure it’s well diluted to protect your baby’s teeth. One part juice to 10 parts water is plenty. Offer it in a beaker or cup at mealtimes only. 

Things Every Parent Needs to Hear from a Teen's Point of View

Hello, my name is Anna, and I'm a teen. Every week I see posts on here about parenting, and how to "deal" with teens. The problem is that these posts are all written by adults. I'm not saying that they don't know what they're talking about -- most of the time they do -- but I thought it would be nice and beneficial to parents to hear the flat-out truth from a teenager.

Number 1: Don't assume. I'm a teen, yes, but that does NOT mean that I'm doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and/or having sex like crazy! I'm not doing any of those. Not every teen is like me, I know that for sure, but there are plenty that are like me, and that have no interest in any of those things I mentioned above! If you think that there is a problem, or that we're endangering ourselves, just ask! Not every teen is going to tell you the truth, but they will be more likely to talk to you about things if they know that you trust them.

Also, when you assume that we're doing drugs, drinking, or having sex when we really aren't, it makes us feel like you see us the same way that you see that druggie who's 30 and still lives with his/her parents down the street, or the prostitutes we see on streets or on TV. We really don't like feeling degraded like that. Also, please don't snoop through our stuff. Again, it feels like you don't trust us.


Number 2: Don't over-shelter. My parents have always tried to hide everything "bad" from me. I am an only child, and I think we are more prone to this over-protectiveness. You can't hide everything, and when we find out, we feel mad or upset -- like you've kept your hands covering our eyes our entire life.

A few years ago I discovered Marilyn Manson through a friend. I was shocked when I realized I was one of the only kids I knew who hadn't heard of him. I think that through his music, I have finally seen everything that my parents never wanted me to know. If I had gone into high school without knowing all the things I learned through listening to Marilyn Manson and talking to this friend of mine, I don't even want to know what would have happened.

Essentially, I think I would have pretty much been a little puny kid who got teased because I was only book-smart and nothing else. You might think you're helping us, but in the long run, it could hurt us more than you think. I'm not saying you should have your kids listening to Marilyn Manson, or telling them curse words when they're 5. Just don't wait until they find out on their own.

Number 3: Don't ask us why. And why shouldn't you ask us why we did something? Because half the time we don't really know. I honestly don't know why we don't know. Hormones, maybe? I don't know. It's just hard to explain something to someone when you can't even begin to explain it to yourself. Oh- and PLEASE don't ask "What were you thinking?!". Again, over half the time, we don't know.
 

Number 4: Please, don't force us. I feel bad for kids whose parents make them do certain things from the time they are born. This is the case for one of my best friends. She and her two siblings have been playing piano since they were extremely young. Now each of them plays over 3 different instruments.

There's nothing wrong with teaching your child how to do different things, but when they're old enough (10+ or so) it should be up to them. My friend plays 4 instruments, and she doesn't really enjoy them. She's amazing at them, yes, but to her, it's a chore to play. Please don't do this to your kids. If you want them to be happy, let them make their own decisions.


Number 5: Don't ask "general" questions. General questions are like "How was your day?". You ask a general question, you'll get a general answer (e.g. "Fine") and we'll feel like general kids. That's not fun for you or for us. Instead, spice it up, and be specific. "How did you do presenting your project to the class?" I understand it can be hard to be involved- but try just a little harder. It could make a huge difference.

Number 6: Don't feel bad if we aren't opening up to you. Sometimes, we just don't want to talk. If you can follow the 5 things listed above, you can trust that we'll talk to you when we're ready to. Be patient with us. We'll talk when we're ready to, and when we do, be ready to listen.

Thanks for reading this. I hope you found it informative and helpful.

Happy New Year to 2011

 

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Another new year, another new beginning! 

Lets do our best this year to live our precious little life to the fullest and without regrets. Don't look back... instead look forward to many more happy moments and joy in life. Life or shall I say "TIME"  is too precious to be wasted on those people which are meaningless you when you are in trouble. Instead, value those who appreciate you more.

Do what makes you happy! That's my New Year's motto this year. =)  

As for my resolutions, I have a few things which I wish to accomplished this year and I really hope they will come true. 

1. Still the same as my previous wish - to have my own house where I can called HOME! 

2. Start to add value to our lil' family.

3. Be happier than last year.

4. To have at least a day off in 2 weeks. I really need it as it will help me stay sane!

5. Be there for my lil' precious. Help him to walk and talk.

6. To have my rolex watch which I've been dreaming of since last year! >_<

7. Try to exercise at least once a week. Go walk around the garden.

8. Star doing my baby's scrapbook!

9. Give my baby his very first birthday party! :D

10. Keep writting my blog & my baby's journal.

Fighting in Front of Your Child

My husband thinks we should never fight in front of our toddler. I say it's unhealthy for our son to never see us arguing. What should we do if we're fighting?

Expert Answers

Martha and William Pieper, emotional health and well-being experts 

In this case, we must agree with your husband. Your toddler is too young to realize that you and your husband still love each other when you fight. Because he's so young, he can't understand that his parents can be angry with each other and still love him. As a result, if you argue in front of him, he will feel as if he himself is under attack and his sense of security and well-being will be badly shaken.

All parents occasionally become angry with each other in the presence of their young children, but if you manage to maintain a reasonably pleasant atmosphere until you are alone, you will spare your son from dealing with relationship complexities for which he is developmentally unprepared.

However, if, in spite of your best intentions, a quarrel breaks out in front of your son, stop the hostilities as soon as you can and reassure your son by saying, "We're sorry we upset you—we know it's hard for you when we argue. Mommy and Daddy love each other even when we fight, and we both love you all the time!"

There is a popular but mistaken notion that "real life" unpleasantness will strengthen the character of the young. In reality, their developmental immaturity prevents young children from defending themselves against the emotional pain they feel when things go wrong. So parental arguments and other painful events leave young children more—rather than less—vulnerable to stress.

On the other hand, if you shield your son from distressing experiences in general, and especially from the pain of witnessing you and your husband fighting, over time he will develop an abiding optimism about his world and his ability to have the harmony and love that he wants and needs. As he grows older, this positive outlook will give him the strength and resilience to respond effectively to the challenges of everyday life.

You and your husband clearly have your son's best interests at heart. So the next time you feel angry at each other in his presence, try to remember that what feels like an everyday blowup to you feels like a nuclear explosion to him, and do your best to contain your anger until you are alone. Postponing your quarrel will be easier if you realize that in this way you nourish your son's emotional well-being as surely as you care for his physical health by keeping him out of the street and away from the stove.