Bad Day

It's hard for me to accept the incident that happened to baby J this afternoon... my heart still ache every time I think about what had happened to my dear baby J..... my poor baby fell from the bed today... :''''( I still can feel the shockness in my heart until now.

Don't know why when I first saw him on the floor I can feel that my eyes were in tears but something was holding me back.... I know I shdn't show him the weak side of me and that it was OK he fell (so not to add additional fear and pain to him).... may be this is what they called """"mother-instinct"""... I should have listen to my inner self more to be more more careful and have to do the extra extra cautions when dealing with a baby!!... How very STUPID I am!!!!

Then, after baby J has gone to sleep at night and daddy was out with his friend, I was alone , suddenly when I recalled what had happened to my baby today, my tears came rolling down my cheeks non-stop as I sat down quietly folding the clothes at the living room....

Mommy is so so sorry my dear oh baby J... >_<'' You must have been terribly shocked!!! (@_@) How I wish I could reverse back the time and take back all the sad and bad memories from you my dear baby... Only God know my sorrow... -___- Also, to be blamed --- the irritating neighbor for making all the noise while baby J was asleep this afternoon... all I could hear while I was having my quick lunch was her daughter's screams!!!! IT IS SO VERY IRRITATING to hear them screaming on a peaceful day like this... feel like wanna go over there and give her a slap!! DOn't make me do it.... my patient is not very good nowadays especially with 'irritating-unreasonable-busy body- idiots' like them!! :-/

When Your Baby Has Had Enough Play

In utero, everything was quiet, fluid, gentle. Your baby glided through a watery world of muted sounds and faint colors. By contrast, life outside the womb can be pretty jarring with its bright lights, whirring fans, and barking dogs.

When you're socializing with your baby, be sensitive to any signs that she's had enough interaction: Too much stimulation can overload a baby's neural circuits, leaving her crying or unsettled. It's essentially your baby's way of saying, "I've had all I can take right now."

Here are some signs that playtime is over and she needs a break:
• Closing eyes
• Turning away
• Tensing up, arching her back
• Avoiding your gaze
• Irritability

The New Me

Lately, I've been wondering about my life... what I've been doing lately till I've forgot about myself??? I've forgot to enjoy my life, I've forgot how to laugh happily, I've forgot how to live the life which I've been dreaming of!!? (-_-')

It suddenly dawn on me that I've let the "evils" get the best of me all these while! For in the past, even the "3 little fucker" can't even bothered my thoughts, not even they dream of disturbing my peace! I've let the "evils" get the best of me.....!!!

May be I only thought there's only one "evils" in this world and I've never thought someone who called herself a mother could stabbed his own son's back! What a surprise huh!!! It sad but true... only up to now I realised this.

I read somewhere "people killed people for peace".... what do you think of this phrase? It's so scary to read this phrase actually... in order to get peace, we shd killed each other so that we will get peace in this world??? This is so cruel but this is what happens in our society since BC time.

So what makes you think that this world is a beautiful place to live? Everyday we are haunted by all the evils / negatives people around us which is too consumed by their own benefits till they want to CONTROL your everything!! Yeah, even those who called themselves "parents"!

Therefore, we the new generations of parents shouldn't follow their evil footsteps which they are showing bad examples to the younger generations.... we should live for ourselves!

I shouldn't let their negative thoughts influence me anymore!!!!!!!! I should gathered myself together again to follow my dreams to where-ever it takes me! Looks like I've stopped at somewhere and forgot to continue my journey to my dreams... I shall move forward again but this time, with a brand new motivations and preservation!

This has made me a stronger person! NO ONE COULD ASK ME TO THE THINGS THEIR WAY ANYMORE! DON'T EVEN DREAM!

I've been reborn again! This is the new me! :)

Happy Birthday to Me *yawn*

Today I cross over from my twenties into my thirties. A smooth transition that I happily embrace... BUT (-_-') They said one year older means that you are one year wiser!! I'm not sure about the wise part but I can surely tell you that it's definitely NO fun at all celebrating birthday as you grow older and older each year... and to add to that worst scenario is that the person who is so called "hubby" has been showing less and less interest in celebrate your birthday with you!

... it has gotten worst and worst each year as I celebrated my birthday with the man of my life!! (>_<) This is the least thing which I've expected from a marriage or the man who claimed he loves you so much!! No wonder most married couple will lost their affections towards each other after they tied the knot... this is ssssoooo sad to know... but it's so true!

A marriage which has no sparks, affection nor respect for each other is feel like a dying rose.... you know the feeling when you are sick but you still alive... that pain and agony in your heart... nobody would understand.

I'm not say you should receive expensive gift but at least he has the heart to prepare it to celebrate with you... and when I said prepare... I mean he knows what you likes and don't like... so that he would do those things that you wouldn't like on your very special day!!! **sigh*** looks like I've married someone who will not appreciate what I did!

Luckily, this year there's someone special and new celebrating with me (at least it lessen the pain a bit), I feel blessed but at the same time sad that he would grow up to be like his stupid father!! I'll just have to pray to the Lord for his blessings and guidance to look after baby J.


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